Thursday, 15 May 2008
I finished my 1st treatment bottle this morning. I poured it into a glass of water and finished it off. It was only half full, and I was afraid it was going stale as I used tap water in it.
1st TREATMENT BOTTLE 8th-15th May
Since taking the remedies, I feel I have been on a more even keel. I have felt more positive about my life overall, and haven't blurted out, even in jest, my usual sayings such as 'What is the point of my life!' or 'I feel like everything is so stupid and useless' [mustard]. I have not found myself sinking into my usual pattern of overthinking [white chestnut]. I have felt anxious about known fears (in this case, driving and applying for a new job), but those fears have not served to tip me into the groove of overthinking and guilt about certain topics that always come up when I'm feeling a negative emotion. This is major. I haven't been able to go a single day without melting down about certain topics for quite some time; to go a week without a meltdown is big. I have not allowed my emotions to overwhelm me and send me on a two-hour crying jag [cherry plum]. There was one instance where I caught myself about to start, but I went and sat for a few minutes then had 2 drops of neat cherry plum. Nothing further happened. I also haven't ranted about being past help [gorse], although I did struggle at times with feelings of guilt.
Another positive is that my TOM came with barely a ripple. Usually PMT just helps to bring on emotional trauma, but this time, it actually snuck up on me.
2nd TREATMENT BOTTLE 15th May-?
So I mixed my 2nd treatment bottle today. It consists of:
Cherry plum--My habit of surrendering myself to storms of emotion requires constant treatment, at this point.
Hornbeam--I've added this to give me the ooomph to go ahead with my job application and driving lessons, two things that I've been dreading and that have caused me stress.
Larch--This is to give me confidence in my skills, both for the application and the driving lessons.
White chestnut--My pattern of overthinking is too habitual to not take this remedy regularly.
Vervain--I've included this remedy to keep my enthusiasm in check. I get obsessed with things, whether it's flower remedies, yoga or any other interest, and immerse myself in them to the point of evangelical zeal, but my plans and expectations become too elaborate and I end up feeling that I've let myself down, that I'm not good enough. The vervain is to balance my interests and duties and not set myself up for feelings of failure.
For this bottle, I used boiled water, quite a bit more brandy than called for (about a Tbs total) and then filled the bottle only 3/4 full instead of topping it up.
May all beings be at ease.