Sunday, 8 June 2008

BFR Update 4

I finished my 3rd treatment bottle today. That one had been mixed for specific upcoming events, but did not include remedies for certain ongoing deep-seated problems. I did this because you aren't supposed to use more than a maximum of 7 remedies in a bottle, and I didn't want to muddle it up. I think, though, that this resulted in old patterns of thought and behaviour emerging again. I was not taking the cherry plum or white chestnut, for example, and I did find myself losing my temper and falling into bouts of overthinking again. While I performed well on the tasks I was preparing for (I took hornbeam, larch, mimulus, beech and cerato), I believe a better approach will be to use the treatment bottle only for long-term work, and take other remedies as needed in a glass of water at the time.

I just mixed my 4th treatment bottle, and have made this mixture:

Crab apple--My weight has crept up to 135 over the past few months, and I have been feeling very bad about myself for it. I must get over this negative view of my body and myself in order to move forward with taking care of the problem.

White chestnut--Although admittedly not nearly as bad as in the past, I have found myself falling into the same old grooves of worry and guilt about certain things. My treatment goal is to break out of this, to recognise it and turn it aside at once.

Cherry plum--My temper has got much better since I started the Bach Flower Remedies, but having gone the last few weeks without cherry plum, I have noticed a difference. PMT came on with a vengeance (although when I was taking the cherry plum last month, my period arrived on time but there were no symptoms of PMT at all). I have also found myself returning to the old habit of turning any minor upset into a cliff face for me to hurl myself off of. Back to good old cherry plum, then!

Beech--Some introspection has led me to understand that my intolerance goes way deeper than just UK driving lessons. I need beech.

Chicory--I had to go and buy this one this morning, because it only just occurred to me that I need this remedy. Admitting to yourself that you have chicory tendencies is not easy. So many of the Bach remedies require you to be brutally honest with yourself and face negative aspects of your personality. But I believe that a lot of my quick-tempered nature is due to a negative imbalance of the chicory state. I chose this remedy because of this description:

While they are easily hurt by what they consider to be rejections or snubs, chicory types can just as easily mimic the hurt and magnify perfectly normal, reasonable behaviour into the basest treachery...They quite literally fall in love with themselves, with all the attendant feelings of self-regard and self-pity and selfishness that this implies. But in fact this self-regard is accompanied by low self-esteem, and chicory types are often lonely or afraid of being left alone. They may feel genuinely unloved or unlovable.
~'Flower Remedies: A Complete Guide to Dr. Bach's Natural Healing System', Stefan Ball

I arrived at this essence to my surprise this morning, when I sat and tried to figure out why I have such a tendency to fly off the handle at the slightest thing. DH and I both can take instant offence at something and become highly agitated and defensive, when the other person was absolutely NOT trying to start any sort of argument. I told him I decided on chicory, and encouraged him to try to arrive at his own conclusions for what remedy he might need for his. This is because the same behavioural symptoms can originate from very different emotional places, and his quick temper and defensive may come from totally different place than mine.

Rock Water--This is another one I had to buy this morning because I hadn't yet realised I need it. The descriptions always talk about self-sacrifice and self-denial, and as I always feel I am overindulging in everything, I thought it couldn't possibly be describing me. But I've been feeling frustrated lately with my yoga practice, feeling I'm not flexible enough, that I'm not making good enough progress, and that my meditation practice is lacking. I've been down on myself for eating chocolates and so forth. This is a complete negative rock water state! Listen to this:

In their attempts to live according to their principles, rock water people tend to be very rigid in their outlook and their desire for perfection leads them to push themselves beyond accepted limits. They are hard on themselves, denying themselves quite normal pleasures such as wine or chocolate as part of their efforts to dominate and master their desires. They tend to follow strict exercise routines and set diets--spiritual as well as physical--in the attempt to reach the ideal they have set. When the practicalities of life force them to 'cheat' and miss a yoga session or eat the wrong kind of food, they get upset and accuse themselves of weakness. In this way, their unforgiving natures turn self-denial into self-martyrdom.
~'Flower Remedies: A Complete Guide to Dr. Bach's Natural Healing System', Stefan Ball

So I have included rock water in this treatment bottle. My treatment goal is to encourage greater flexibility in achieving ideals, and turn my gaze more outward away from myself.

This bottle, I used mineral water, two droppers of brandy, and two drops each of flower essence from the stock bottles. We'll see how this goes.

May all beings be at ease.


jamie said...

okay,we've had a little discussion about all of this,and re-read your blog entry slowly and carefully.
on the surface it reads like you've become dependant and reliant on whatever the manufacturer has written on the labels of these so-called remedies... and it comes across as scary stuff indeed. your comments about beating yourself up for eating chocolate,for example are very worrying.
for all the buddhist-ness and karmic enlightenment you seek,it sounds like you're getting yourself into a right old tizzy... perhaps you should consider chucking out or at least putting away all your books and guides,and just taking a few months to just let your body and mind kick back and reach an equilibrium with themselves.
i'm not suggesting that you stop exercising and eat unhealthily,but the human body is by its nature meant to ingest certain products and produce,and maybe you've been starving yours of its natural requirements...?
mood swings and emotional conditions are perfectly normal,and i believe that attempts to supress and control them with chemical stimulants,however natural and wholesome they say they are,would knock your body right out of sync.
of course,i might well be talking a load of old hooley,but you never know.
take good care of yourself,and stop over-analysing every single little thing.
enjoy life,

jamie said...

let me get this right,as i may have misinterpreted what you post was about... are you taking medication to supress or remove the symptoms of PMT?
that can't be right,can it?
hang on,let me get back to you on this,i want to consult with the missus.
but it sounds to me like you're going down a very dodgy path.

this post was supposed to precede the next one,oops!