Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Feeling like I'm waking up

It could be that I've had three days off now, but I feel like I'm waking up from a fog. My attitude yesterday toward my lesson was better than it's ever been. (My performance wasn't better, but my attitude about it was!)I think something may be contributing to that. I have added a new flower remedy to my collection: wild rose.

I have been feeling tired and run down lately, so I was taking Olive, but I couldn't see that it was helping me at all. In Holland and Barrett the other day, I had a look at the Bach Remedies and 'For when you can't be bothered' caught my eye. It was Wild Rose. I thought maybe I'd been mistaking apathy for tiredness, so I bought a bottle. I can say that I really think it's helping.

Here are some descriptions of Wild Rose from different websites:

Wild Rose is for life's drifters, people who are happy to sit back and free-wheel through the years, not minding where they end up. There is no problem with this so long as the person concerned is happy - something which is generally the case with true Wild Rose types. However, there are times when people of this nature, or in this frame of mind, feel that life is passing them by, that they are missing out. They want to pull themselves out of their apathetic state but are unable to do so. Wild Rose helps them to feel more motivated and alive, so that they can get more out of life.

In the Wild Rose state, the mind has resigned to unfavorable conditions and does not seek new opportunities for improvement. Usually, the person has made an attempt to find more wholesome or desirable options of life but has failed and given up. To protect from disappointment and continued despair, the mind chooses to resort to apathy and resignation, both of which instill a necessary tranquility and relative release from struggle...

The typical Wild Rose state shows a retreat from involvement in unfavorable circumstances which could not be overcome. This withdrawal from reality helps to safeguard emotions so that the drain of despair and frustration does not take its toll. Simultaneously, however, the emotional capacity for joy and liveliness suffers as well. This stifling prevents exactly those energies from arising which the self needs to lift out of its deadlock. Outwardly, this stifled capacity for joy is visible in a disinterest in amusement and play, in a lack of hopes, wishes and dreams.

I've come to realise that you can be overenthusiastic and need grounding (Vervain--which I take when I get too bogged down in yoga, crystals, and even flower remedies!) in some areas of your life, and still suffer from complete apathy (Wild Rose) in others (like buying a house, learning to drive and other big ticket items that are too stressful to deal with). That seems obvious now that I think about it, but I never associated it with my issues about driving until recently.

I took Beech for a time to overcome my intolerance for the entire system here being different from back home. I have pretty much accepted now that the whole thing is different. What I need now is some enthusiasm for getting through the system, and Wild Rose seems to be the answer. I just now found this article:

Jump Start Your Dreams with Wild Rose

I found the case study particularly interesting. The client was a 'go-getter' in certain aspects of her life, but upon taking Wild Rose, all sorts of things began popping up, new interests, expanding herself in new ways. That's awesome!

I have also been taking Clematis lately. This is another remedy I didn't think I needed, because it seems to be indicated for people who daydream, and when I think of daydreamers, I think of Walter Mitty and the like. Since I never thought of myself as doing that, I didn't consider the remedy as applicable. When you think of it as a lack of grounding, though...

Reality may actually appear hazy, as if veiled, and there may be the tendency to suddenly lose touch and become drowsy or sleepy. Or one may feel lightheaded or vacant in one's mind, as if the mind was removed and not fully centered or concentrated.
These states can come on not only from daydreaming about future happiness but also from fatigue, from a strenuous or saddening daily routine that one removes oneself from internally, as if it was too painful to experience fully or look too closely.

Clematis flower essence helps remind the floaty spiritual type individual that he has a physical body. It offers clarity to the scatter-brain. Helps one manifest his dreams and ideas.

Clematis is for imaginative, creative people who often seem to be in their own world. They are inattentive, dreamy and have difficulty concentrating. Children may have poor coordination and be accident prone. Clematis helps focus attention.

Well, although I never considered myself a 'daydreamer', I can certainly relate to aspects of those descriptions! And I can say that since I have been taking Clematis, I do feel that I can pay better attention to things. For most of my life, I've only been able to pay attention to things I'm interested in. Clematis is helping me stay more firmly in the present moment, even if the moment involves something that is NOT interesting to me (like at work, or reading The Highway Code).

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