I'm suffering from vampire overload for the last few years and am unwilling to invest my time or interest in all these postmodern vampire movies for tweenies ('Twilight') and Southern gothtastic TV shows ('True Blood'). They don't know from vampires! They've taken all the mystique and replaced it with superfast motion werewolf battles or writhing blood-soaked orgies. Gross!
In my day, our vampires were dead sexy, and gentlemen, too--weary and misunderstood, just looking for their queen to make eternal life worthwhile. Here are my favourites:
1. Frank Langella in the 1979 film 'Dracula'. Langella is the sexiest screen vampire, in my opinion. Although he is a frightening bloodsucker (the scene where he peers in Mina's window hanging upside is freaky!), he is a true Gothic romantic leading man. No wolf eyes, fangs or blood trickling from the mouth to be seen. Lots of soulful looks, fantastic droopy-sleeved chest-revealing shirts, soft kissing and roiling smoke effects, though!
2. Brad Pitt as the reluctant and brooding vampire, Louis, in 'Interview with the Vampire', continues Langella's tradition of the undead who yearns to be part of the world of the living. He's not sexy--if anything, he is ambiguous, being in love with a little girl and Antonio Banderas!-- He's just remarkably beautiful. Not sure if that makes him sexy, but I mean--just look at him!
3. Gary Oldman in 'Bram Stoker's Dracula', directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The movie absolutely awful. As someone elsewhere online remarked, Keanu Reeves bumbles around as if he's thinking 'What am I doing in this movie?' and Wynona Ryder looks stoned, but Gary Oldman is smokin'. He's not pretty, he's not handsome--he's just hot!
4. Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandridge in 'Fright Night'. Everybody remembers the girl who turns into the freak with the red eyes and horrible too-wide mouthful of teeth, but Chris Sarandon certainly moistened a few pairs of knickers along the way, I'm sure. Hoo ha!
So what is it about vampires? I'm sure people have written loads about what makes vampires sexy. It has something to do with the intimacy, the penetration, the latching onto something and sucking the life out of it...now that I think about it, it's not so hard to figure out! Beautiful immortals. Dangerous to everyone except the girl they fall in love with (which of course will be you!). Eternal protection in their worshipful embrace and all that. No wonder they're so darn popular.